Curiosity, Compassion and Courage for an Inclusive Culture
Courage & Compassion
Human leadership creates the space for inclusive cultures.
Inclusive cultures; require human leadership where we think with curiosity, feel with compassion and act with courage.
It is incredible that inclusion is now so high on the agenda in every organisation, across the world and in all industries. Last year we watched a frenzy of actions to address bias and other great inclusion work, but we are we are starting a new year, let’s think about how we have done?
Listening has improved in many organisations time and effort has gone into patient conversations, surveys and interviews to try to get our arms around this big culture beast. We have done a lot of things that felt good and positive steps in the right direction but for many, we are not sure if it is working, we still feel like we don't have inclusive cultures we would like.
How are we feeling about the work we have done? Are our strategies working? Are we making a difference? Does the culture feel different?
Inclusion is not only about the statistics and the survey results, to understand and create inclusion we need to think about how it feels.
We can start by thinking about the difference between fitting in and belonging.
I love this quote (image left) from Dr Brené Brown.
FIT IN
To fit in, I need to change, or appear to change who I am. I need to assimilate to the environment around me.
I think about the female leader who would spend time with her nephews to learn about football so that she could keep up with boardroom conversations. I also think about the rejection letters that say; “sorry we found someone who was a better fit with the team”.
TO BELONG
This one is trickier, we want to belong to the group, it is a primal survival instinct.
The origins of the word say that it means "to go along with, properly relate to," this feels similar to fitting in but there is one big difference. Brené is saying that we need to feel a sense of belonging to ourselves. We need to properly relate to ourselves.
Belonging to yourself is enough and you can be there for yourself no matter what. But this is hard!
This asks something of the individual- to be courageous and confident in themselves and importantly is ask for the environment that can hold space for that belonging.
This is where I believe leaders play an important role.
Leaders often think and behave in line with the organisational culture, but leadership behaviours particularly at the most senior levels actually create the culture. To have an inclusive culture we need inclusive thinking and behaviour.
I believe that this work needs to happen at deeply and broadly at all leadership levels.
Leaders cast a shadow into the organisation, they role model and they are ultimately accountable for ‘how things are done around here’.
I recently designed an exercise to think about the behaviours in an organisation and I would like to share it here in the hope that it can help you to have discussions about the way you and others lead and create more inclusive places for people to work and thrive.
Tool for reflecting:
Human Leadership Framework
Copywrite: Human Leadership Framework - Chaya Mistry 2022
This is a practical tool for reflecting on your current thinking, feelings and behaviour, but it is also a useful framework to set an intention about where you would like your thinking, feeling and actions to be in order for you to have the ideal organisational culture.
Plot your recent interations on this matrix- just look at the last week
When are the situations where it is easier to think and act with courage and compassion and when is it harder?
Get curious about indifference, what would it take to move closer to compassion?
Get curious about fears, what would it take to move closer to courage?
THINK: Think with Curiosity
When we don’t have curiosity we make assumptions, we judge and make snap decisions. Curiosity is the space for awe and wonder, for learning and open-mindedness. Staying curious for longer and more often helps us to break the patterns of a culture that ‘we have always done it that way’. It helps us to see the invisible. Curiosity is the key to asking questions and quality listening. When you are curious, you are in the space between what you used to know and what you are about to learn. You have the desire to learn something new and to do that you are willing to give up what you might have believed before. If you can hold your own beliefs and ideas very lightly, curiosity becomes a whole lot easier.
FEELING: lead with feeling Compassion and not Indifference.
We are all different and these differences influence what we carry with us into a conversation, when we stay in our own perspective we limit our ability to ‘walk in another persons shoes’. We never really leave our own shoes… rather we stand with our foot in our own world and step the other foot over an invisible boundary into another person’s world. Being more connected to the humans who you interact with moves you closer to compassion and away from indifference. Getting to know people, what is important to them, what motivates them and what they need can help you to lead in a way that puts humans in the centre.
ACT: with Courage and not Fear
Courage is that moment when we are moving through fear, releasing self doubt, pushing away comparison, listening to anxiety but embracing it.
Some of the people I most admire, people like Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela made a choice to do what is right not what is easy. They made choices that were not comfortable. They risked being vulnerable and standing out. But they had courage.
Fear has a way of holding us in inaction. We can be crippled by fear, fear to give feedback, fear to hold people accountable, fear to stand up to power.
Leading requires decision making, taking risks, stepping forward and leading people out there in the hope for great results and high performance and people who can thrive.
That requires courage, compassion and curiosity.
Read my past blog on belonging
Read more about Compassionate Leadership
Read more about Curiosity
If you would like to learn more about Human Leadership you can:
Talk to me about how I can work with you and your leadership team
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